This post belongs to my dog, which just went very far away from me and I could never see him again.
I keep on writing and erasing words because my mind is so complicated right now… It seems to not rest whenever I thought about the voice mom made "he's dead."
Well… my house has this tradition of having dogs guard the house so we had plenty but none of them stayed for so long because of various reasons.. and I personally never had any strong attachment toward the pets–until yesterday.. yesterday, the truth hit me right in the face… I wish he were alive and I wish to see him once again..
His appearance–he's all black. Literally black.
His height was average. Like any local dog.
He had this habit of sleeping in the hallway even when my motor was approaching him. Seriously.
Mosquitoes usually were all around him because of his black fur.
What makes me stuck the most right now, I wish to know him better. I want to know what was going on in his mind when I was in his sight; what he was thinking when I was touching his fur; what he really wanted to eat; why did he choose to stay with us people even though he knew he could be hurt; what he wanted to say to me when I was around him… "Hey play with me?" "You like me as your dog or not?" "Hey I'm right here… being sick and I think I cannot endure it anymore… Where are you?"... "I'm leaving now…"
I even told myself to get him a pet house once my new house is built;
I told myself to treat him better once we all settled down;
…. and I keenly want to believe that he's alive once again so that I could make it come true.
I guess I took him for granted.
What I want to say right now… Please treat your pets well. They also have souls and they also have hearts. Please don't regret like me right now. They could not speak but they stay more loyal than most people do. So please… please consider them as one of your family members if you bring them home.
I'm very glad if you do.
and please do if you don't right now.
Because this soul of mine is terribly regretful, and I promise myself to never let anyone bring the dogs in again if we cannot hold a strong responsibility toward their well-being.
He is going to be remembered for a long time. I already miss him. Please rest in peace and if heaven is really there, I'm sure that's where you would belong. Do not come to this universe as any object again; it is hard to endure sometimes.
Thanks for being with me for this short while.
